Cutting PeoPle out

I’m drawn to toxic people. I’m infatuated with pain, broken pieces, and challenges. There’s absolutely no question about why I’m like this though. Growing up with poisonous people made me the twisted heart I am. Recently, I’ve found myself growing out of it and I’m absolutely okay with it.

I spent so many years of my short life with people who were just so draining and toxic. The shitty part is that you don’t always know until things go bad and they throw so many knives in your back. I allowed so many toxic people to drain my kindness and hopefulness that it drove me into, what I thought was, an irreversible depression.

Truth is, if you spend too much time fucking around with toxic people, you become toxic. I invested too much into the wrong people who I started hurting others too. “Misery loves company” is no joke and I fell in love with destroying people emotionally. It’s fucked up, but I don’t regret it, I wish things would’ve turned out different but all the things I did turned me into the person I am today and it made me out to be a better human being in the end.

So moving on to the change.

I’m on change. Sometimes I’ll change everything about my life in a day, and then there are times that I fear it. I changed the type of people I allowed in my life and it hurt at first cutting toxic ones out but now that I’m cleansing, I feel good. I cut out a toxic one and I am graced with one that makes me a better person. I let go of selfish “friends” and the universe will bless me with friends that lift me up. Cutting these people out didn’t really turn out as smoothly as I would’ve hoped it would. Some people were so latched on to hurting me that I’ll probably never be on good terms with them again but what I found is that it’s important to leave things in good terms on your side. That way when they set things on fire, it’ll only burn them down because you didn’t give them the fuel they needed to set you on fire too.

I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’ll be okay though. Change is a good thing sometimes and even though toxic tastes good, I need to cut it out of my emotional diet and thrive off of my  blessings. I encourage you to do the same.